Karate Thoughts Blog

Contents   /   Email  /   Atom  /   RSS  /  

1700+ Posts... and Counting

You Are Pretty/You Are Ugly

Sometimes I will tell my 16 year old daughter that she is pretty. Then I will say that she is ugly.

By now, she understands my point. If someone says that you are pretty, you will feel happy. If someone says that you are ugly, you will feel bad.

But the person who says that you are pretty may be lying in order to get something, and the person who says that you are ugly may be wrong or just trying to offend you. Either way, the way you look is not determined by these people.

When a person says "You are pretty," I tell my daughter to be be suspicious. And when a person says, "You are ugly," I tell her to not give a poop about what that person thinks.

In either case, while she should be polite, she should not be moved one way or the other.

This is how I teach my daughter, who is also a Karate student.

Of course, this lesson is not just about being "pretty" or "ugly". In Karate, we often receive praise and criticism. We should not be moved one way or the other. Our Karate should be immovable.

If someone says to me, "Your Karate is good!" I will say, "I will try my best." If someone says "Your Karate is terrible," I will say exactly the same thing. In either case, just continue to practice. We get better by practice, not by compliments or criticism.

And a word about criticism -- the worst thing you can do is to discourage someone. So try to be encouraging and guide the student in the right direction (to the extent possible).


Charles C. Goodin